raked over the coals

There’s nothing worse than getting called out for a shoddy job. (Well, there’s probably something worse, I’m sure, but this is a pretty bad workplace situation.) That’s what happened to me this week, not once, but twice. Both times had to do with my not being aware (or not having been made aware) of the protocol of a certain project. And part of what I was called out for was not my fault. The other, just yesterday, was for something I should have known and just forgot. (I could blame it on early Alzheimer’s, but that’s not very professional.) So, I feel foolish.

This client is one of my best sources of work. Without her last year I earned half as much as the year before. With her this year I’m back up to where I should be. But I can already tell that she is going to decrease my workload (she said about as much) and this worries me. All I can hope for is that she doesn’t do this to a drastic extent and that we’re back on solid ground soon. I was off to such a good start this year. 

But it’s not just the loss of income that will hurt, it’s the loss of pride I am feeling and the lack of confidence she now has in me. The feeling that I can screw up without meaning to scares me about myself. I’m not as infallible as I thought.

All I can do from here on out is try to do the best job possible. No screw ups. Ask more questions.  Double-check. Triple-check, if need be. In other words, don’t allow this to happen again.

Well, I must get back up on the horse and pray for a smooth course ahead.

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