where do i start?

I cannot believe so much time has passed since I last sat down to type words into this blog. So much has happened that I wouldn’t even know where to begin.

The meat of it, though, is mostly bad: My mother passed away. One of my dearest friends passed away. Then my mother-in-law passed away. It’s been a lot of pain. It’s been a lot of tears.

I was in the midst of all of it too. I wasn’t a bystander waiting at the curb a good distance from where the action occurred. I was rolling in the mud. I was toiling in the muck. I was in the hospitals, the nursing homes, at the chemotherapy infusion centers, in the hospital cafeteria explaining to two preteens that their mother has cancer and, by the way, I can’t tell you this but she will die sooner than you’d like. I was at the graveside. I saw the flames and felt the heat from the crematory.

I wish I could erase 2013 and 2014 from my life, to not have to live through the pain, feel the sting of hot tears running down my cheeks, and most of all, not have to say goodbye to three of the most influential people in my life. But it happened. It will happen to all of us. It would have been a bit easier if it didn’t happen all at once. And if there weren’t casualties left behind.

But I’m still here and I will share my thoughts and my voice. I am still here.

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