the austerity program, day sixteen–trying to remain positive

It’s been more than a couple weeks since I took on the austerity program, and it was about a week earlier than that that my husband got word of his layoff. He’s applied to several places and has actually had one interview at a firm he is extremely interested in. He’s waiting, however, for the final word on whether he or another candidate will get the job. He’s willing to make another effort at convincing the powers that be that he is the perfect choice, but it’s wait and see until then.

I learned the other day that a friend of ours lost his job, but he was let go under quite different circumstances. He was the head of an organization, its executive director, and he was ousted for what appear to be political reasons. His job is pretty specialized, so it may be difficult to find another similar position, especially in this town. But he has some recourse: He’s asking to be reinstated and he’s also filed a lawsuit because of wrongful termination. I’ve since learned that he was making an extremely good living, so I think the family will be just fine monetarily until the next job comes along–or he wins the suit, which is a bit different from our situation. Still, losing a job is stressful to the entire family, no matter what.

I was feeling pretty good the day I heard that news, not because of my friend’s hardship but because my husband had had that successful interview and because my friend had confided in me (after several months, I later learned) of her husband’s circumstances. It helps to have a kindred spirit, even if the circumstances are less than positive–or maybe especially so. The next day, however, I wasn’t faring so well. Or the day after that. Maybe it’s our suddenly gloomy weather mixed into the pot, but I felt as though I’d begun a downward spiral. It takes the right personality to be able to see the positive in things, especially during hard times. I’m afraid to say that I don’t possess that personality, although I wish I did.

I have another friend who’s much like me in our outlook on life: The glass is half empty; the sun may not come out tomorrow. Her husband went through a layoff a few years back that lasted six months and during that time he was quite ill. He finally found stable employment, but she is now forever in a race to build up the family income and savings in the event the pot boils over again.

I’m trying to see the sunny side of things and that if my husband doesn’t get this great job he’s currently after, another opportunity will come along. It may not be as perfect, but it will pay the bills. It has to be that way. It just has to. In the meantime, I’ll try to walk on the sunny side of the street and I’ll turn the burner to a steady simmer to at least keep the lid from falling off.

the austerity program day seven–independence day

Today is the Fourth of July, but the weather is uncharacteristically gloomy and so is my mood. Already a week has passed since the bad news and nothing has yet come through for my husband.

Yesterday was our son’s thirteenth birthday. His Little League team pulled off an amazing win against one of our district’s strong horses and after the game, he, my husband, our elder daughter, and I went to a pizza place for dinner. I had received an online offer for an extra large one-topping pizza, four sodas, cinnamon bread, and a small salad for under $19, so we went there. The food took a long time to get to our table and my son wanted to join up with his team for a post-game celebration at the house of one of his friends. After eating, my husband took him over. I’ve yet to plan a real birthday celebration for him, so I’m glad he had some fun, but I also wonder if I will be able to throw him a party right now with our lack of funds. He doesn’t yet know about our circumstances.

Fortunately, my sister invited us over to my mom’s for a meal today, so I didn’t have to make another trip to the grocery store for food. I was happy to accept the invitation.

It’s about time to go. I will say a prayer for the resources we have–family, friends, and some money in the bank–and will pray for  financial independence.

the austerity program, day four–buying groceries

Yesterday I took inventory of what I have in my freezer and cupboards and today was my first day at grocery shopping. My mission was to save as much as possible and get just what we needed to make what I already have into meals.  I think I did really well.

First of all, I have been accumulating points on a grocery store members’ card that I did not know how to convert to money off my bill. Before shopping, I phoned the grocery company’s 800 number (thankfully, someone was in on a Sunday) and I also printed a $10 off of a $50 purchase coupon from the store’s website.

I then shopped, leaving everything I didn’t need on the shelves. I still got a decent haul: a six-pack of mega-sized rolls of paper towels (I’d just hung my last roll this morning), a carton of OJ, three Gatorades, a bag of frozen french fries, a one-pound package of turkey breast and a nine-0unce package of ham, a package of Goldfish crackers, a tub of soft butter, four cans of tuna, a loaf of sourdough bread, a loaf of wheat bread, a package of six sandwich rolls, asparagus, tomatoes, green onions, organic broccoli, two packages of romaine lettuce, a pound of potato salad, two bags of chips (it’s Fourth of July week, so a lot of this stuff was on special), bananas, and a bag of apples. Total: $64.50. Then I subtracted my $10 coupon and swiped my store card containing $34 in rewards, bringing the total of my grocery trip down to $20.44! Not bad at all.

The coupons are often available, and it’s not too difficult to accumulate the extra reward money at this store, but this one trip was a bit of an oddity, being that I had saved up that $34 for months. Still, it proves that saving money by looking for bargains and shopping for only the things you need is possible in keeping the total grocery bill down. Fortunately, I have accumulated many years of bargain shopping and have learned much from my forebears. (Whenever I do something especially on the cheap side, my son tells me, “That was very Boucher of you,” meaning I have learned my cheap, or what I’d call thrifty, ways from the masters themselves, my parents and older siblings.)

I’m not saying that next week’s grocery trip will be this impressive or that I won’t need to run out to buy barbecue stuff for the Fourth or spend on food for my son’s birthday this week, but at least it makes me feel good knowing I can keep our bills down–the ones that are flexible, at least–with a little forethought.

the austerity program, day three: taking inventory

Having found out that my husband is just one paycheck away from unemployment, I did a cursory survey of the contents of my fridge. My semi-hoarding ways will guarantee us at least a couple weeks or more of meals.fridge

Freezer contents include: a Costco-sized bag of potstickers and another bag of Safeway brand that I hadn’t remembered I had when I bought the huge Costco bag (that goes without saying); a bag of homemade eggrolls from my dear friend Anna (the absolute best around); one pound of Italian sausage; one bag of orange chicken; a package of Nathan’s hotdogs; two top round steaks; a half-full bag of breaded shrimp; a package of four smoked sausages; two potpies; a bag containing a few turkey meatballs; four six-ounce size rolls; an already-opened bags of chicken nuggets; a pound of ground turkey; and a few packages of chicken breasts that I had previously washed and divided into about 1.5 to 2-pound packages. There was other miscellany, but nothing to write a blog about.

In my cupboards, which I didn’t quite get around to inventorying thoroughly, are jars of red spaghetti sauce and alfredo sauce; Korma sauce, with which to make curry; ramen noodles; several packages of pasta; a jar of pesto sauce; walnuts and cashews; plenty of rice–basmati, jasmine, and long-grain varieties; tuna; canned clams; one box of pasta mix, a few boxes of rice mix, and a package of easy-to-make stuffing; canned tomatoes; and more.

Just off the top of my head, I can come up with quite a variety of meals to make with what’s there or by adding a few fresh ingredients, including chili, beef stroganoff, spaghetti, hotdogs, chicken curry, beef and broccoli, linguini with clam sauce, spaghetti with sausage and spaghetti with meatballs, cashew chicken, walnut chicken, tuna casserole, and all the meals that the frozen foods will provide. So, we’re in pretty good shape.

This will be a good experiment to see how long we can go without stocking up. I do see a Costco run in my future, however, but that will consist of more inexpensive spaghetti, pasta sauce, and the other nonperishables that Costco is famous for and which often last months at a time.

Today is my husband’s birthday. We will make an exception from eating at home and will take our youngest child with us to dinner. I have a restaurant.com certificate worth $25, which I bought for $10. We have to spend at least $35, according to the certificate’s terms, and we have to leave an 18% tip and pay the tax, but I think we may be able to get away with spending another $20 or $25 in addition to the 10 I’d already spent. That should be fine for three of us. I’m glad we’re able to do something, but it’s kind of sad that we’re having to coupon and take our son with us, when we would ordinarily go to a nice restaurant with ambiance and have a glass of wine with dinner. Ordinarily, even if it’s a prix fixe meal, it would be something special–and more than double what we’ll be paying tonight.

But that’s life. When you’re dealt a blow, you duck or swerve to the side or you get knocked flat out. I’d rather swerve off course for one birthday dinner. I’m just thankful that I stockpiled enough food to make it through the next few weeks. The fancy restaurant can wait until we’re celebrating my husband’s new job offer.

the austerity program, day one

After many months of ups and downs in his current job, my husband found out two days ago–and let me in on the not-so-joyous noise just yesterday–that he will be without a job in thirty days. That’s two more paychecks away.

I work, but what I bring in is less than one-fifth of what he makes and what he makes pays all the bills, with a little left over, usually, to save. The maximum that unemployment insurance will pay out in this state is $1,800 a month, which to some may seem like a lot, but for us will only cover our mortgage and real estate taxes on a quite modest home. In other words, we’re screwed.

When he was in school and we had one baby and then another and nothing but part-time jobs, we were able to live off what little we made plus the student loans he got for attending school. But that was when we had no mortgage, had one car, had no other debt, and were young and stupid. Now, we have four offspring, a mortgage, four vehicles (the newest being seven years old, the oldest being twenty-one), a gas-and-electric bill, a water bill, a basic cable bill, a golden retriever, an overweight tabby cat, homeowner’s insurance, health insurance (which costs over $1,100 a month alone), auto insurance, and life insurance, plus expenses for the newspaper, gasoline, food, church donations, doctor’s visits, etc., etc. That’s a lot more than we had to manage, even with two babies, back in the late ’80s. What to do?

First of all, my husband has to not only look for (which he’s been doing for the past twenty months), but now find a job. And I have to go full force into an austerity program to try to stretch the minimal amount of dollars we will have coming in until his next paycheck.

So, I am setting in motion a full-on Austerity Program, the likes of which haven’t been seen since the Great Depression, World War II, or modern-day England, whichever is worst.

Austerity Program, Day 1. What did I do to make or save money so far?

I grabbed the last few purchases I made and looked at what, if anything, I could return. I was able to gather three tops from Target (one at $9, two each at $5) and a pair of shoes I’d bought over a month ago for a special occasion, but that never fit quite right, and returned them to Target and Payless (another $18.30 returned to my MasterCard). I have another T-shirt to go back to a sporting goods store that I didn’t have time to get to today. I also drove the twenty-one-year-old non-air-conditioned car, which I will continue to use as long as possible to avoid putting gas into the family-sized vehicle.

We have two birthdays coming up in the next few days: my husband’s and our youngest child’s. My son needs some clothes, so while at the mall, I ran into JCPenney, because I know their Arizona brand shorts fit him well, and “purchased” a pair of those shorts, using a gift card I had received for Christmas. (Fortunately, I’m not much of a clothes horse–as can be witnessed by the above-mentioned thrifty clothes and shoes I’d recently purchased–nor am I much of a shopper in general. Therefore, I still have from Christmas or my birthday another JCPenney gift card, a few small ones from Target, one from Macy’s, and one from a movie theater, which I will probably use on my son’s birthday, so I can treat him to a little something special.)

My next step is using up all the food in the house before buying anything else at the grocery store, save for vegetables, milk, butter, and other perishables that will need restocking. Tonight, I plan to take inventory of what I have and what I can do with it.

I’ve gone through austerity measures in the past, and I can do it again. If the queen of England can freeze her salary for the sake of the kingdom, then I too can do my part to save. I just wish I were saving what the queen makes.

want to drop 5 pounds? get a dog!

A 25-year study performed from 1969 to 1994 that tracked weight loss in the obese found that an exercise-only plan can reduce the amount of weight in people by an average of three pounds over 15 weeks. The exercise-and-diet group brought the weight-loss average down to seven pounds in that same time period. To the exercise-only people, I have a word of advice: Get a dog!

Since bringing our golden retriever puppy home less than eight weeks ago, I have lost five pounds. Five pounds on an average-size woman is quite a bit. And it seems to be all lost in fat. I’m becoming more lean and more muscular, which goes without saying that that’s a good thing.

How did I do it? Well, walking a rambunctious puppy two to three times per day for an average of 20 minutes per walk is the key. Playing soccer with him for a few minutes a day a couple times a day helps too. As does getting up at a regular time every morning and not lollygagging in bed (although I haven’t had the pleasure of sleeping in since I was a teenager–and even then it was rare).

Golden retrievers are high-energy dogs. Golden retriever puppies are insanely high-energy dogs. They need to get out at least twice daily, and not just in the yard, but into the neighborhood or the woods or the park, or wherever time and distance permit. Not doing so will make for an ornery dog that can become destructive. Unless you enjoy shopping to replace the furniture that’s been gnawed to slivers, you may want to get on this plan.

This morning I took Woody across the road to the regional park. We are blessed to live within walking distance to one of the largest regional parks in the United States. We are also blessed with beautiful weather that permits taking walks and hikes on nearly a daily basis. Today we explored the bike park for 20 minutes of what Woody would describe, I’m sure, as pure bliss. The sights, the smells, the sounds, the dirt under his paws, the birds flying overhead, and the bunnies scampering across the path were a delight to a dog whose breed loves the outdoors, birds, and tracking scents. He was in puppy Nirvana.

I realize that not everyone has it so good. Maybe their landscape is sidewalks and buildings, maybe the birds flying overhead are helicopters, maybe the closest park is overrun by undesirables. And maybe there is snow or ice or frigid temperatures preventing them from pulling on their sneakers and taking a walk. That’s excusable. To the rest of you, take to the paths and sidewalks and put one foot in front of the other to get a little exercise, to get a little healthier. And if your motivation wanes, get a dog.

forever friends

An old friend of mine recently came back into my life. After maybe ten or more years, she decided to reconnect. During that time and up until a couple years ago, I’d been sending e-mails and the annual Christmas card with the family newsletter inside letting her know what we’d been up to for the year, always with an added postscript of hoping to reconnect soon. After several years of not receiving even a Christmas card in reply, I stopped sending them, thinking she didn’t want to know me anymore. I didn’t know why, but figured she’d get in touch when she did.

At the time she stopped seeing me regularly, she had just lost her mother and was having a tough go of it. She sought out religion in the hopes of getting comfort. And she kept her distance from not only me, but a few other friends as well. Before she broke away, she had given me a small angel knickknack inscribed with “I’m thinking of you.” She told me at the time that even if she lost touch, that I should always remember I was in her thoughts and prayers.

Ten or so years later and about seven months ago, I got a call from my friend, whom I’ll call Ann. Ann said she missed me and my family (she, my husband, my brother, and I had all worked together at one time, long, long ago) and wanted to see me. I dropped everything and she and I met for coffee. It was so good seeing her. It felt like old times, as though we had never lost touch.

I’m not sure exactly why she dropped out of our lives, other than to figure out some stuff she was going through after the death of her mom, but I didn’t pry. I didn’t care. I was just happy to have her back.

Our lives are so dissimilar now–she’s single and has never been married; she has no kids and no pets, either, while I, on the other hand, have been married for over 27 years, have four kids and a dog and a cat. Our lives rotate on different axes, but overlap just enough–kind of like a lunar eclipse–for there still to be more than a passing friendship. I don’t know why certain people are in our lives or why they drift away or return, but I think there is a reason for everything. Maybe one day Ann will fill me in on all the details, but I really don’t care either way. Truth be told, there wasn’t a lot we would have done together all those years while I raised four kids and she maintained her single, uncomplicated lifestyle and her distance, but it doesn’t matter. What matters now is that she picked up the phone that warm June day and rang me up.  By the way, I had kept that little angel in a prominent place all those years and occasionally glanced over at it and thought of Ann. What she said was true: She was always thinking of me. And so was I.

playing hookie at the movies

I love movies, especially good ones. I’m not the type to rush out to see the latest blockbuster that everyone is talking about.  I rather prefer films with thought, depth, and beauty, qualities oftentimes hard to find in American films, I’m sorry to say. And what I love more than seeing a good movie is seeing a good movie with my kids.

I basically have just one of those left  now, kids that is. The other three are over 18 and manufacturing their own lives. But my 12-year-old is still my captive audience. And I appreciate the fact that he enjoys going to the movies as much as I do, especially good movies with thought, depth, and beauty.

And so today I rushed through a work assignment so that my boy and I could take in a movie that we’d been wanting to see for some time. The movie, Hugo, just received an Academy Award nomination for Best Picture, so I was even more intrigued.

We rushed to the theater, about a 6-mile drive from home, arriving slightly after the previews had begun, which was good timing because it prevented us from having to sit through all those commercials, which is exactly what a movie preview is. In fact, when we saw our picture had not yet begun, we slipped into the very short concession stand line to grab a bag of popcorn, our favorite snack, to make our movie-watching experience picture perfect. We were still in time for the opening scene.

The film was everything we’d hoped it would be and filled with all those things a good movie should be. Ilove the fact that it delves into the imagination and confirms the viewers appreciation of books and movies. I moreso love that my son was able to take it in with me and enjoy it as much as I did.

I hope one day my boy will look back fondly on these little movie excursions of ours. I hope, or rather I know, that he will in the the same way that I know he appreciates a good film and a good book. And a good bag of popcorn.

not goodbye, but so long

Most years end with a great majority of us compiling lists of personal resolutions that we hope to accomplish in the coming year. Whether we make lists or not, to the man, we give some thought to the upcoming year and what it may hold for us: a new love, maybe; a new job; the hope of an illness being successfully treated or one we fear may be there never appearing. Or maybe it will be a grand vacation, a milestone birthday to celebrate, or a new material good that we’ve desired for some time.

Whatever it is, these thoughts tend toward the positive, as well they should, because each year presents the hope of something not only different, but better. I am anticipating some big changes in 2012 myself, some, I’m sorry to say, that I’m not welcoming. For one, my younger daughter will be moving out of the house on the first of the year. Even though she’s 23, to me she is still my baby girl, and I will miss her companionship, a companionship I’ve had on a daily basis for the past 23 years. Her sister moved out 14 months ago, and she still comes over at least once a week for dinner, so it’s, to quote “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?,” not goodbye, but so long. Still, my older daughter’s schedule is more 9 to 5 than my younger girl’s, and I fear I’ll see even less of her than I have this past year, which brought her her first full-time job and a steady boyfriend.

Also new in 2012 is raising this little bundle of energy we call Woody, a golden retriever we brought into the family almost a month ago. At 12 weeks, he’s quite a handful, but I’m seeing signs of maturity as we work with him on a daily basis to get him to learn what he should know to be a good ol’ dog one day. Even though his presence is more positive than negative, I still have been confronted with myriad responsibilities since he arrived on the scene. I’ve had to rearrange my life to fit into his, for one, although it should be the other way around. But here I am, daily getting out of bed when he wakes, whether I’m tired or sick (or sick and tired), because he needs to be fed and brought outside. And here I’ll be, working in an area of the house where I don’t typically work in order to be in the same room with him in case he gets into something he shouldn’t. And there I go, taking him for a walk or outside to play or “use the facilities,” because he needs to get his exercise or relief so he doesn’t drive me crazy when I need quiet time.

I wonder what I’ll do in the upcoming weeks when my workload gets extremely busy (think straight eight- or ten-hour days with not even a lunchbreak away from my desk) and I’m the only one here to take him outside or on those necessary walks. How I’ll manage is beyond my imagination at the moment. By then, I’m hoping he’ll have adjusted to being out in the yard by himself for significant periods of time without his getting into every bush, putting every rock into his mouth, or digging to China, although I doubt that will be the case. He’ll also likely want that necessary companionship that his breed tends to desire to be happy dogs. So, I’m anticipating some stress-filled days.

Other changes? With one child out of the house, we will have a vacant room, and I look forward to setting that up as an office and guestroom, which, with four kids, we’ve never, ever had. Assuming I’ll get a break from the puppy and be able to get to that quiet place to work, I look forward to having a room of my own in which to not only work but to get away.

I also have a mini trip planned with my best friend of 37 years. We just hit a milestone birthday in December and we are going to get together to celebrate in a city midway between our homes. This is a big deal to me, because I don’t get away very often (as in never). I look at this trip also as one in a series of pleasurable things I plan to do for myself. As a mom for nearly 26 years straight, with one minor child still to raise, I have never put myself before my family. So, I hope to try to enjoy myself more in 2012.

Whatever the year brings, I wish for no heartache and no stress and a year of positive thinking and a sense of humor. Even if circumstances don’t change and I muddle through 2012 much the same way I did ’11 and ’10, at least I’ll view what life churns out with a good attitude and a great laugh, which can make all the difference in the world. So long, 2011.

a mom’s best friend

My younger girl, an adult of 23, is planning to fly the coop this coming month. She and a friend are moving into a rental house just a couple blocks from my older daughter and her roommate. It’s hard to believe that I have children this old and this self-reliant, for it seems not all that long ago when all four kids were itty-bitty babies, dependent on their mother for every little need. But just as I began to wax nostalgic for the good old days, I got a taste of new-mommyhood again.

We adopted a puppy a week ago today. He’s an adorable golden retriever with a friendly, happy disposition (when he’s not trying to bite every little shred of our being). We’ve  had a puppy before–a medium-small mixed-breed dog–but somehow I blocked out all the bad stuff of the adjustment period the minute I laid eyes on Woody. I guess it’s kind of like childbirth. If we were to remember the excruciating pain, we wouldn’t ever repeat the process, some of us three more times.

dog doge puppy retriever
Photo by Snapwire on Pexels.com

An inevitable part of the dog-owning program I also finally had been able to push out of my mind was the day we had to put Sammy down. On that day I vowed to never get another dog. But life goes on, and here I am with another needy creature looking to me to fill his every need.

I’m not going to lie. Not wanting another dog wasn’t just about the sentimentality of losing Sammy. It also had to do with my all too keen awareness of the amount of time, devotion, and expense a dog can be. (Doesn’t it always fall on the mom?) Sammy had been a pretty easy pup, too,  as far as upkeep goes. He didn’t eat a whole lot and he was healthy for most of his lifetime. He was also an outdoor dog and, I’m almost ashamed to admit, was easy to ignore at times. Fortunately, he was content to be outside in the beautiful Southern California sun. Who wouldn’t be?

But for whatever reason (was it  being pressured by one of the kids or was it a midlife crisis?), I went against my own fine common sense and took on not just another dog, but a helpless puppy that would one day become a large dog and one that, according to its breed’s nature, will need companionship on a daily basis.

For the past week, it’s been like raising a newborn again. The whining, crying, and attachment are there–especially in the first two days and nights–and the near-constant supervising is exhausting. He needs to be caged in the kitchen (his nursery?) for the time being until he can get used to a crate (his crib?). He also needs to be housebroken, which is quite a lot like potty training a child.

Things are getting better and Woody is adjusting well to his new home, but it’s an awful lot of work. He’s a cute puppy, as all babies are, but I look forward to the day when the little guy is able to make decisions on his own and need me a lot less. Every living creature eventually becomes autonomous. Fortunately, it comes sooner with pets than with kids.